Men & Sports- a Theorized Story of How Sports Came to Be

Yesterday while attending my little brothers' basketball game, I began to think about what makes sports so fun. What keeps us practicing to get better at these sports? What keeps half of the country in front of their television sets for two hours straight watching baseball.

I also noticed that guys tend to get worked up a little more over sports than girls. But, then again, I have seen Sarena Williams (or was it Venus?) flip out over a game of tennis before, so I could be wrong. Either way, it's just an opinion. You tend to understand where I'm coming from when you've lived with a guy for fourteen years who talks to the players on TV about their performance even though they can't hear him. (I must admit, this habit of my father's has begun to rub off on me)  It doesn't help that my mom barely knows the first thing about sports either. No matter how many times I have to correct her, she'll always say "The score was 5-8," instead of "The score was 8-5."

After thinking about all this, I theorized this story about men and sports.

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Since the beginning of time, male types of all species of creatures on Earth- whether it be animals, or humans- have been attempting to become the more dominant man of their kind. Birds have different songs they chirp, and different colored feathers; lions, tigers, and other "big cats" try to become the strongest hunter in the pack. The list goes on. But, when you think about it, the main reason all male creatures try to become more dominant than the rest is to attract the females. Male birds try to make themselves more attractive with colorful feathers, and beautiful songs to attract the females. "Big cats", specifically lions, try to become king of the jungle to make themselves look more dominant than the rest. (My facts may be a bit off, but feel free to search this topic online if you please)

But what about humans. Obviously, humans have evolved much more than animals have. Compared to our chimp ancestors, our brains have grown and become smarter, our posture has improved greatly, our muscles have developed much more, and we've developed our own languages unique to each of our races. With all that said, it's obvious that humans are much more complex than animals.

This means that females are looking for more than just pretty colors, cheery songs, and strong hunters. Not only do women want us to prove to them that we are more dominant than the rest, but we want to prove this to ourselves as well. So, back when we were cavemen, us men invented "contests" if you will, that would prove who was better than the other. Some contests were to see who could make a fire the quickest. But most were to prove who carried the bigger stick, or who hauled the biggest rocks. These contests carried through generations, and around the late 1800's were named "sports."

You can probably see how the "bigger-rocks" contest carried on to today. Almost every sport you see on TV today involves a ball of some sort. Basketball, football, golf, tennis, lacrosse- you name it. These sports are contests to see which person handles the ball the best. The "bigger-stick" version eventually evolved into what we call "baseball."
When sports were first being invented, males decided to form "packs" that would compete together against other "packs". The winners of each sport would become the more dominant "pack". Again, evolution took place, and the word "pack" tuned into "team".

Long story short, sports were invented for two main reasons;

1. Impress the ladies
2. Decide who is more dominant

Eventually, someone wised up, and thought "Who cares who carries the bigger stick? It's more about who's stronger!"
That's when things like running, swimming, weight-lifting, and boxing became sports. And then, someone else (most likely a woman) wised up even more, and thought, "Hey, women can be dominant too!" So woman's versions of all these sports were invented. (I have also theorized that after men were criticized for not thinking girls could be dominant too, the "wife" was invented, to keep men in there place, and not get carried away trying to outdo one another.)

But what about those who aren't as athletic as others? Well, thanks to the "team" concept I covered earlier, fans of any sport can cheer on their favorite teams, and hope they win. They could even gamble on who will win a competition. This led to bragging rights for the fans of the winning team, thus making them somewhat more dominant than the opposing team's fans.

In conclusion; my theory of how sports came to be is simply to find the more dominant being, or beings, in the world. Different sports for different countries have been invented over the years to prove to one another who "the boss" really is.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find some big rocks.

Yours in awesomeness,
~Ry.