Football Sunday... and More Book-lights

If you asked someone what America's favorite pastime is, you'd get one of two answers:

1; Baseball
2; Sitting on the couch, eating Chinese food*, watching football.

Today was a great example of why that second answer would be just as good as the first.
Picture a middle-aged man, on a Sunday afternoon, sitting in his favorite couch in the living room. He's got a beverage with him- usually beer, or water, or something-, and he seems to be having a very intense discussion (each sentence only lasting a few words, which may include, "Oh, c'mon guys!", or, "Touchdo- oh, he dropped it!") with the television set, which happens to be showing a live football game.
Ladies, and gentlemen, if you have ever witnessed such a scene before, you know it can only mean one thing:
Dad is watching football.
I have witnessed this personally, and I have to say, it's quite a scene. My dad will be staring the TV down, probably attempting to send brain signals all the way to Foxboro, telling Tom Brady, or whoever, not to screw up. And then, when they do screw up, he'll start commentating the play, until he realizes that they actually have people on the TV program who do that for him. Let me give you a brief scenario of this:

When Randy Moss- wide-receiver of the New England Patriots- fumbles the ball in the end zone, almost getting a touchdown, dad will say, "TOUCHDO- oh, he dropped it!" (as mentioned before).

Or, when the referees are reviewing a play, to decide whether the guy fumbled the ball, or not, dad will say (repeatedly), "Right there, his knee is down. He has the ball there, his knee is down... and then he drops the ball. Right there... yep, his knee is down."

Or, when they are showing replays of some guy who stepped out of bounds in the end zone, almost getting a touchdown, dad will say, "... Yeah, he stepped out.... Right... there. His foot is out."

Those quotes are roughly what my father was saying during the Patriots game today, and half the time I couldn't figure out whether he was talking to me, or the TV. I bet you have met people like this, who seem to yell at the picture of the referee on TV, when he makes a bad call, as if he can hear them, and I believe that because it happens to so many people across America, it is a mental disorder, if you will. I call it headinthegame disorder. The symptoms of this disorder are as mentioned before; talking to the images of people on TV, as if they will respond; commentating the plays to themselves, even if no one else is in the room with them; showing great emotion to every great/bad play their favorite team makes, etc. The headinthegame disorder may occur especially with people watching the game in high-definition quality, because it enhances the effect of "being in the game".

In conclusion; although you can't really blame my dad for the way he acts during a Pats game, it can kinda creep me out. So, Dad, if you're reading this, I want you to know that we're here for you, and we're all helping to find the cure for headinthegame. Together, we can make a difference.

(This message was brought to you by the HITGF [Headinthegame Fund])

In other news, I saw one of those Bob's Furniture Store commercials today, and found even more proof that people are too sophisticated; Bob's newest piece of furniture includes a cup holder, and a fold-out table, with (you guessed it) a book-light.

Ain't technology a beautiful thing?

Yours in awesomeness,
~Ry.