Sooper-Dooper, Pooper-Scooper, Cooper!

Those are some of the things I call the craziest dog in the whole world- my dog-, Cooper. If you've met him, you know that he's got the energy of a hyped-up toddler, on a strict diet of Red Bull, Monster, and Pixy Stix, and the mischievous attitude of my cousin, Nick, holding a pair of scissors, and your favorite pair of pants.
The reason I'm talking about my dog, is that I feel I should introduce new readers to The Blog of Awesomeness (TBA) to one of the biggest pains in the world, who manages to hold his number one spot on my list of best friends.
I actually wrote a paper on Cooper for an English assignment, and stupidly forgot to save the document after printing it, but I'll try to reproduce the essay as accurately as possible.

First of all, if there were ever a top ten list of the world's worst dogs, the first two on the list would be:

1. Marley
2. Cooper

(If you don't know about Marley, search that name on Google [make sure you don't find results for Bob Marley], or see the movie, "Marley & Me", which I highly recommend.) Cooper loves to chew pillows, and toys, from the couch in my basement, run over to the house two houses down the street from me to eat whatever leftovers they left in their front yard, for whatever reason, and play ball/Frisbee (I think he likes fetching balls more than Frisbees, because he'll bring as ball back to you, but he likes to keep Frisbees to himself). Because of Cooper's behavior, I have also theorized that he has a case of ADHD. This, I shall explain.

A few days ago, I was walking Coop`, and we approached another person walking their dog. Cooper, being the all-too-excited dog he is, really wanted to make friends with these passersby. But, I knew all too well that if I let Cooper go over to that dog, he wouldn't leave until he had sniffed every hair on that canine's backside. So, I tugged the leash, expecting him to resist, as he always does, by jumping a good five feet in the air, and attempting to dart after the dog/owner. But, he just couldn't match the almighty strength of yours truly, and I finally pulled him far enough away from them, that he somehow forgot what it was he was just trying to get at, and continued the walk.
That's when I thought to myself, I wonder how his brain really works?
Here's what I mean by this; obviously, if you teach a dog to sit, he'll eventually sit on command. Same happens when you teach him to lay down, and speak, and shake your hand, and roll over (which Cooper hasn't learned yet). But, for some darned reason, for the two years I've had him, I can't get Coop` to understand that he can't go say hi to everyone he see's walk by. If he's outside, and someone walks by our house- with, or without a dog- he'll go darting after them to say hi, which forces me and whoever else may be out there with him, to go after him, struggle to grab him by the collar, and bring him back inside the house, or on his run (for all you non-dog owners, a run is a long leash you can attach to your deck, or house, or a tree, that allows your dog to roam your yard without running away).
Then again, maybe he has learned a thing or two about greeting people. I believe that he has taken note that whenever humans see people they love, they hug each other, and sometimes kiss. Well, he sometimes tries to mimic this, by jumping up on the newcomer, and occasionally give them a good lick on the face. He just hasn't learned that we don't do that to people we don't particularly love.
So, I theorized that Cooper has some sort of ADHD, that causes him to be so full of energy, that whenever he sees someone new, he becomes so full of excitement that it just becomes overwhelming, and he can't help, but to go give the person/dog a hug/butt-sniffing.
But then, I remembered that Cooper sometimes becomes aggressive towards dogs smaller than him. He'll go over to the small dog, sniff them, and spaz out at them. So, then I theorized that Cooper is an ADHD-diagnosed dog, with a desire to make sure that every dog he meats understands that he is the alpha-male.
This helped me understand the whole, "marking-their-territory" thing. It's like a big game of War, where the object is to claim as much land as possible. And, I'd say that Cooper makes enough "pit-stops" every walk, to claim the whole neighborhood.

In conclusion; my dog, Cooper, is diagnosed with ADHD, loves to make friends in all the wrong ways, is dominant of his property, and such, and is the world's second worst dog.

And I couldn't ask for any other dog.

Yours in awesomeness,
~Ry.